WOMAN ON FIRE: NISSI INSPIRATION ADEOLA

A Beautiful day to you. I have my first guest writer today. Can't wait to share her piece! Her name is Nissi inspiration Adeola, she's a. Writer and generally a lady of many talents, I hope you enjoy her piece as much as I did and don't forget to leave a comment after you read.
-Opeyemi.


I am Nissi Inspiration Adeola, a fiction and non-fiction writer, series and articles blogger and novelist. I am a gospel vocalist and a great lover of books and music. I blog at Inspy's World.


THE SCAR
Women are made to feel insecure and inferior by virtue of what they witness and experience. Especially living in a country like ours where all you see is a terrain where men treat women however they deem fit, women tend to suffer in silence, take whatever is tossed to them by men and painstakingly mend their shattered hearts afterwards. However, despite how hard we try to mend broken hearts, it leaves a scar which serves as a constant reminder of the pain you were subjected to. You would assume that I am writing my personal experience… No! Not mine…

Jumoke! A wonderful friend is the perfect example of a Nigerian woman. She has a beautiful body with great curves in all the right places, she is of moderate height, with a round face and shoulder-length hair; literally, she was the desire of most men. Beautiful as she is, she got admitted into University of Lagos and her ultimate ambition, like any sensible student, was to study and graduate with outstanding grades. She started off, warding off men in order to focus squarely on her studies, but hey, she could not keep that up for long because, like most women out there, she obviously had dreams of getting married one day.
In her second year, Jummy had already gotten through the first-year fever and was a bit relaxed. Then came Bayo! Seemingly like an angel, he was the perfect figure of the man she needed in her life - handsome to the sole of his feet, jovial and easy to talk to, hardworking, financially stable and most importantly, he also took his studies very seriously. He was the perfect man! Love at first sight instantly became real to her because she fell in love with him instantly! After the necessary probation women subject men to after being wooed, she accepted him and thus began their love journey…

The couple became the toast of everyone in campus because they were so close, almost inseparable. Bayo never gave Jummy a breathing space, driving away suitors but Jumoke was contented as long as she had her Bayo by her side. He filled her head with delicious thoughts and she found herself daydreaming often about marriage with Bayo even though he hadn’t ‘popped the question’. Just like every relationship, they definitely had their ups and downs, however, after close to two years of dating, the frowns on their faces were becoming more than the smiles. It was their final year in school and due to her great ability to interact freely with everyone; Jumoke had so many friends especially guys. The ever-jealous Bayo grew even more jealous, signaling the beginning of the end.
Bayo saw her fame and beauty as a threat and hastily accused her of flirting around anytime she as much as smiled at a man. They slowly drifted apart and Jumoke became worried. She suspected he had another woman and was trying to look for excuses to end their relationship but she was not certain. She had been overlooking some pictures she found in his phone, not wanting to acceptthat it was real. However, she got her answer when she found him with another woman.
One would assume that this is enough reason to quit, but no! She did not. Even after being advised by friends to leave the relationship if she is not being valued, she still stuck to him. Her love for him had grown so strong, it seemed impossible to leave the relationship. There were so many men seeking her hand in marriage but she turned a blind eye to them all, having eyes for only one man, even though he never for once mentioned a thing about marriage. After persuading Bayo to send the woman in his house away and he did not, she eventually opted out of the relationship. However, whenever someone starts pursuing her, seeking her attention and love, Bayo would pop-in again, beg for forgiveness and she would accept him back. They broke up over and over again but never really got separated from each other – love can make us do weird things right? However, it all came to a halt when they were out of school and in the real world.

Undiluted pain tore at Jumoke when Bayo finally shattered her heart into a million pieces. After their convocation, he told her that she was of no importance to him anymore, telling her that he had found a woman who meets up to his standard and that she was just a mere side attraction. Her world virtually came to a halt as the words hit her like a thousand knives. Never in her wildest imagination did she think he would say such a thing to her. Like a river, tears flowed. Days passed, weeks passed, even months; yet, she could not get past the pain. She wondered where she had gone wrong, what she should have done differently; but the more she reminisced, the more the pain. Time flew and the pain faded but there was still something left; the heartbreak left something. A scar…
Women are priceless gifts to humanity to be loved and cherished. Just like a precious flower, a woman needs to be handled with care and tenderness. Many women have gone through severe heartbreaks and have in-turn developed inferiority complex, however, we can make a difference in our world. Walking out of relationships which are below the standard of God for your life shows maturity and self-respect. Leave a man who does not value you because surely, the man you deserve is a man who would treat you like a queen, respect you and love you unconditionally. You are special, beautiful and priceless. Your past relationship might have left you with a scar, be glad it did, because the woman you have become is stronger and wiser.


Nissi Inspiration

WOMAN ON FIRE: POUR OUT THE PAIN

By Opeyemi

I’m Miss Busayo Opeyemi, by Gods grace the founder of the unspoken woman, one time rebellious daughter now and forever God’s daughter, an economist by way of academic qualification and a writer by divine call, I love to write about God and his love for me and by extension all of us, I write because it’s the greatest way I know how to express myself, I laugh a lot because laughter is medicine to the soul and most of all I love God because he first loved me. I find joy in making dresses.

 

                The rains come it drizzles first and the clouds don’t look dark enough so you’re pretty sure it won’t rain for long and even if it rains long it wouldn’t be heavy enough to cause any damage…….. and that is how almost every one of our trouble begins it comes in trickles and next thing we know the sky above turns dark, who would have known that simple catarrh without any major symptoms like cough would lead me into the theatre 5 times, who would have expected that a harmless hang out with friends at a restaurant would lead me to a year suspension? 

And suddenly the rain moves from a drizzle to this

                Anyone who is familiar with this blog knows a lot about me already if not you can go through the blog and catch up on what’s gone on before. Well in 2011 my sinuses got full and I started to have a growth behind my eyes and so my eyes became protruded and I needed a surgery to correct it, February 2012 I had the corrective surgery but like I said earlier on trouble comes like rain it drizzles before it pours I went into surgery believing sinusitis was just an ailment you know one surgery and that is all naahhh it’s a condition, you know like asthma it’s in the body but can be managed, so the first surgery led to a second, and then a third and a fourth and finally a fifth. Surgeries several times leave their victims traumatized, how much more 5 surgeries within a few months, I wasn’t just traumatized I was crushed, sinusitis took my weight and left me looking sickly, sinusitis left me with a scar and worse of all sinusitis refused to go. 

 

                Like every other person I had a dream to change the world to make an impact in my generation somehow but sinusitis made me feel unable to because I was too weak to do anything but lie in my bed and cry and attend the few classes I could when sinusitis didn’t stop me, I became highly insecure, when people looked at me I felt it was the scar they were staring at, I was broken and I wasn’t sure I would ever be fine, I wasn’t sure I would ever make an impact in my life time,  then one afternoon I stumbled on a blog and it did have an impact on my life and then I remembered something i was amazing at; WRITING, I hadn’t done that in a while but I always knew I could and so in my pain I took up writing and my first blog was birthed, I started out writing about pain and like that I grew, the blog grew and people were inspired, people were challenged and most of all people were encouraged. My pain pushed me to do something at a point where I felt there was nothing I could do and in the process I’ve been healed, my mind has something else to focus on aside my health, someone once said “your own pain grows dim if while in it you find something to pour your passion and pain into” this is so true I’m consumed with my writing I no longer notice the physical pain as much as I should because my mind is away from it, when pain pushes you to the edge and you don’t know what to do find your stride pour your strength and pain and passion into it and watch the pain fade into oblivion my health is not 100% but my mind is now 100% and because of that I feel 100%. 

                The last two entries on the blog I shared my suspension story (please read it up, It’s pretty lengthy I can’t go over it again), during the suspension period I ran into serious depression, I was in a fog and still couldn’t believe what had happened to me, when the pain had taken a greater part of my strength I picked up sewing, I’d always wanted to make dress but school and stuff wouldn’t allow me and in my pain I started learning how to sew and today I can make amazing dresses for not just myself but for others too, so much I’m considering a fashion line and letting go of my certificate.

                One thing I’ve learnt is this pain comes to us all good and bad alike, heavy rains would fall after the drizzle but one thing is certain beyond the dark cloud lies the sun but you won’t get to the sun if you fail to push, if we sit and wait without doing anything until the rain stops and the cloud is clear and the sun is shining time would have been wasted. If you have pain it’s not enough to make you a watcher on the sideline play in the pain, let the pain push you to do something don’t allow pain stop you. Refuse to allow pain in any form overtake you decide to take over and pour your pain into something eventually the rain would stop, the storm would become calm and the sun would shine again. 

Yours in his love

Opeyemi.

WOMAN ON FIRE

Lovely day. I'm still in awe that were already ending the last day of the first month in January.. I couldn't be thankful enough God has been over present for me this month. I hope you all have testimonies like I do.


 God has a lot for us and I can't wait for February to begin you see throughout the month of February we would be having a project tagged "WOMAN ON FIRE" on the blog.. For this series I'd have a number of amazing ladies share their fire with us, the main theme is for us to learn from them as well as have them contribute to our woman power. I'd love it to be as interactive as possible please I'd be happy if we don't just read through all these women would share but I'd be looking forward to your questions about comment, personally these women have made impacts in my life, one of them in particular set my heart on fire to write and ever since that day I took up writing I've never been able to turn back. I hope someone catches the fire through this series I pray that the fire burns down all hindrances that keeps us away from God, all hindrances that keeps us from fulfilling God's greatest purpose for us.
  If you have any need to contact us privately our email is always open unspokenwoman@gmail.com we'd be glad to help.



Until next time
Yours in Gods love
Opeyemi

THE UNSPOKEN CHRONICLES: SUSPENDED 2

I learnt early in life the need to put in my best and nothing but my absolute best in anything that happened to me and where ever I find myself, I do this so each time I stand before God I have a real case to present, coming home I knew that beyond praying and asking God to help with all that had happened to me I had to put in effort so together with my parents I appealed, we sent in a letter of appeal and after about three weeks we received a message to come and face an “appeal panel”, lol I had been in this school long enough to know there’s no such thing as an appeal panel but I figured they wanted to call us back but didn’t want to seem all lazy so they used that as a cover up hence I packed my luggage even as I prepared to face the panel, in fact on the day of the appeal my luggage was in the boot, however I was wrong they actually created an appeal panel just for us, and one after the pother we were interrogated just as the SDC did before we were placed on suspension after the appeal we were asked to return home that we would be contacted.
 Two weeks later I received a letter that my suspension was upheld, I felt my hope crush and I came to terms with the fact that I had to graduate a year after I was supposed to. I remember leaving the house that evening wishing I had died three years earlier when my health fell to rock bottom, I was freaking suicidal, and I wanted to overdose on diclofenac and ventolin. But every time I tried I couldn’t bring myself to end my life, I literally lost my mind that period, sometimes I’d over think and take a walk only to realize I had walked places I never could have walked to on a normal day, I remember vividly one afternoon I wanted to do a little laundry and I discovered that the wash bar was finished, behind my house was a supermarket I went there got the wash bar and rather than turn back and go home I started walking forward, till today it remains a mystery to me what made me stop a cab hop into it and go all the way to the market, this market was way away from the house, incidentally my mom had decided to stop by the market on her way from work, she saw me in the market and her only question was “what are you doing here?” I simply smiled because I didn’t even know what I was doing there, I simply left her in the market after asking her for money to transport myself back home and made my way back to the house. Countless times I walked until I was a distance I couldn’t walk back home, I was depressed, my mind was messed up and there was nothing I could do. I’d like to mention that at this point I was so mad at God that he didn’t matter to me anymore, if I loved him and he’d let things happen with me like that then he wasn’t worth my time, love or effort.
 One evening I sat behind the house pondering over what had happened, I wept I screamed, I wrote letters to God, I tore them up again, I asked God why he hated me so much, I asked him why he left me sick, it was then something occurred to me every anger I felt boiled down to one thing; MY HEALTH. See my walk with God started on the basis of ill health, I was desperate to be fine and I was willing to try anything to be fine so I tried God, and with God it was all an experiment, so I would attend any church iwas invited to just because of my health, I was trying stuff claiming it was for God when in reality it was about me getting better. You see desperation is a disease, it clouds our vision and sense that we cannot see or think past that issue and many at times we’re led the wrong way you see I gave various reasons for attending the program in march and going out to see Joshua Selman that afternoon but in reality I attended the program outside school because I was hoping I’d be healed there, I was outside with Joshua Selman because I was hoping if he prayed for me I’d be healed.
 I gave it all over to God after realizing that, I stopped trying to question God I was hurt but I wasn’t mad if anything else I was ashamed, I decided to begin fashion classes while my suspension lasted as I had always wanted to be a designer, I got a sewing machine, started sewing and was letting God be God in my life because he deserved to be God, not because I wanted to be healed, at school my mates completed the semester and went home on break and I felt all hope die within me.
 About a month before my mates at school were due to resume one evening we received a message from the school inviting us for a meeting with the school management, we were asked to resume three days later to write the makeup exams of the exams we missed, resumption was shifted and to Gods glory I wrote my exams, even though I was a bit of a mess while I wrote the exams I wrote it. About two weeks ago my results were released and I’m still amazed even right now I had a GP of well above 4 points, the highest I’ve had since my first year in the university.
 Right my health is still a thorn in my flesh, it’s the one thing I think about and my heart breaks, but the past year has been enough proof that whatever God allows serves a purpose, its intentional, if God allows it he’ll come through for you, it may not be easy, he never promised it would, even in the storm there’s a always a blessing, I learnt how to sew something I’ve always wanted to do, I learnt to love God without strings attached, I learnt to lean on God, I learnt to play in pain, I’ve tapped into a strength I otherwise never knew I even had because under pressure it was forced out, I have learnt, I have grown, my health battles are for a purpose, if God allows he’s said his grace is sufficient for me, I only need to believe it. 

THE UNSPOKEN CHRONICLES: SUSPENDED 1

This is my story I have separated it into parts as the entire story is really lengthy, tomorrow I’d put up the other part. Please do leave a comment, let me know you came by.
Opeyemi
This is a part of my story I have tried to pretend never happened, but a place such as this founded on transparency should be a place I could share even the seemingly most embarrassing aspects of my story, so I’d be sharing today on getting suspended from school in 2015.
 20th April, 2015 was the day it all begun. I had returned from class about two hours before I was due to as my lecturer was absent that day, I was informed by a group I belonged to that Apostle Joshua Selman (a minister in Nigeria) was going to come by school that day, I’ve had a number of his sermons on my laptop for a while seeing him in person seemed like such a good thing plus that was my birth week which would be an amazing birth week miracle for me. I slept a little when I got a message informing me that Apostle Josh was around and about leaving I got up, got dressed and went by with the intention of simply stopping by to say hello to him and be o my way back, however on getting there I met him with a countless number of people I figured I could hang around a little, he spoke with us on a general note and then said a brief prayer before getting up to leave, I went by to say a proper hello to him and as I made to leave the cafeteria we met him in chaplains, and a host of others came by and rounded the place up we were led lie criminals out of the cafeteria to the senate chambers we were accused of holding illegal service, minutes later we were tagged cultist and before we could think things quickly escalated. I school at a faith based university, but what happens when churches God has called to walk arm in arm to fight the devil take their arms and fight against one another? Other innocent people suffer and yes I became a victim of the battle of superiority among churches and ministries.

 At the senate chambers we were met by an excited chaplain and a few other people including the vice chancellor, we were insulted there branded as cultists, we were humiliated by the senior members of the institution, there the chaplain introduced us with a smile so wide told the VC how we were cultists, and how they had been on the lookout for us for a while, I felt my heart break into a tiny million pieces as the chaplain spoke I felt every iota or respect and reverence I had for the chaplain and men of God in general crumble, the worse was the vice chancellors called in a photographer and had him take still shots of us after which they brought in a cam coder and took videos of “THE CULTISTS”, the VC lost his temper started placing curses as much as he could finally he promised we would all go home on a year suspension, I heard it my mind processed it and as soon as I considered the possibility I felt my heart tighten, next thing I knew I couldn’t breathe I felt someone lift me up, pass me on to someone else and I was taken to the clinic.

 21st April we were made to face the panel, when we got there another issue was raised, in March of the same year a number of us had left school without appropriate permission for a program, the school got wind of it but did nothing until this incidence came up. In groups of three we went in to face the members of the Disciplinary council and exactly a week after on the 28th April I received a letter and I was on my way home for suspension for an entire academic year, I knew I had done wrong but I also knew my punishment was beyond my offence, I knew the people who pushed for the punishment; they were the supposedly spiritual people, as I went home I resolved within my heart that the whole Jesus stuff was more a joke than it was anything real and church was a waste of time. I was ready to leave the church even though I knew somewhere in my heart I loved the lord; he had failed me, home was terrible for me everyone kept asking me the very question I asked myself “if you really are a Christian, why is this happening to you?”, I remember one evening I was chatting with a friend from way back and he made jokes about my situation and how I couldn’t have been suspended for that, he was doubly sure I was on crack or something. People kept calling me from school; I was so ashamed I had to turn off my phone. My parents together with parents of the other victims decided to appeal about a week later……..


love,
Opeyemi

A LITTLE PIECE FROM MY JOURNAL

Last night I was looking through my journal looking for a bit of inspiration apparently a lot of things I hoped would happen this week didn’t happen, I lot hasn’t turned out like I planned especially as regards this blog and yesterday it hurt like hell I started to feel like I was a failure, I kept asking myself what I had done wrong and why stuff was turning out the way they have. I was thinking about what to write on but I couldn’t seem to place my heart on anything and opening my journal I stumbled on this entry dated 24th October 2015 I have no idea what I was even thinking when I wrote this but here goes what I wrote;

I need to stop seeking the why’s in life
Something’s happen for which the whys simply can’t be found nor understood
But love has a way of covering up and helping us live again after we’ve been hit hard.
Love (God) takes away all the wondering; God’s love reminds me that I’m worthy
I no longer have to wonder if I’m worthy
I know I’m God’s daughter..
I no longer have to wonder if I have a right to love I just go right ahead and love
God gives me grace.
I no longer have to wonder about my future,
I just rest in the knowledge that my future is in the hand of the one who holds the world in vibrant harmony, if he can hold it in place my future is safe.
I no longer have to wonder if I have a right to pray or talk to God,
I just go right ahead and talk to him and I know he listens, I see results daily
I no longer have to wonder if I’ll survive if things turn terrible,
God is the comforter, he gives grace to dance in the rain and strength to play in the pain
I have no idea why I’m sharing this but I feel like someone needs to read this.


Love,
Opeyemi

THE UNSPOKEN BIBLE WOMEN: RAHAB

Happy new year everyone, thank you for your support in the past year God bless and engrace you. There's a lot I should have put up here but I've had so much to do and this particular piece has been lying in my mailbox for a while, it was written by a friend and a contributing writer for this blog her name is Grace. I hope you're blessed.
love, Opeyemi
'Get out of here you slut! Why are you still here?' the man shouted at her. 'okay am leaving!!' the lady replied indignantly and walked away . As she was going, she saw the city's soldiers running hastily. What could be happening? She thought.
'hey Garrett' she called out to the captain of guards. He came over smiling thinking he's gonna get a deal from her, she also smiled also, knowing what he was thinking, 'what's going on? I see you all running around...'
' well, there are two Israelite spies in the city and we are going to get them and kill them!' 'oh, I see, take care' And she left, on her way home, she came upon two men hiding and concluded they were the spies. 'come with me if you want to live ' they followed her to her house where she hid them on her roof. When the guards came to question her, she denied.
'you can come out now, they're gone.'
"you have saved us, let us know who you are so we may know how to repay you."
"my name's Rehab, am not quite a reputable person, but I have heard alot about you people and I know God is with you, when you come to take over, spare me and my family."
"we shall, if you leave this scarlet rope on your window." They agreed on their deal and went off.......

So, we all know about Rehab, her life and everything, but she has never been forgotten from history, she became the great grandma of David and found her self in Jesus's family history.  What's my point? Circumstances we've found ourselves in, does not determine who we become or where we end up in life. God does and some times. We pass through these things to glorify his name. So lets not give up ladies, we have been through alot but God has the final say.
Oh! She didn't perish with the rest, ha! So much for a no good harlot....
-Grace (on Joshua chapter 2)

MY RAINBOW

            Inyamuakut.com has been a constant source of light for me since 2012 when i stumbled on it for the first time. One thing she’s shared and i can totally relate to has to be her piece on scars, she wrote about a scar on her right arm, a scar that she carries as an aftermath of something which almost claimed her life, but her scar has been a constant reminder that no matter how terrible stuff goes she’ll be fine.

            I have a scar, but you see it’s not a scar from a fall i sustained when i was two years old, its a scar made by an intentional cut with a doctors scalpel when i was 16 and could not breathe, in the space of 8 months i had to undergo five surgeries and I’ve been with this scar forever. I used to feel really insecure about this scar but there was really nothing i could do, its right next to my eye foundations don’t really quite cover it, so I had to live with it, i have another scar that’s less physical, its the scar etched on my fragile heart at 5 by my molester. 

            This year has been a particularly hard one for me, I had to deal with major battles in my health, had to face suspension, had to deal with a major faith shake but like Noah in the bible God gave me a rainbow, the rainbow was a sign a promise God gave after the flood and promised that never again would the earth be destroyed, I’d like to picture the man Noah witnessing heavy downpour and lifts up his eyes to the heavens, sets his eyes on the rainbow and is at peace because he is reminded, for me my rainbow is my scar, many times I felt my faith wavering all I had to do was look in the mirror at the scar and I remembered where I’d come from, what God had brought me through and i knew in my heart that the rain could fall hard as it may my rainbow was sign that the rain could not destroy me, i remembered that the year i had all my surgeries i was writing WAEC and i even had jamb about three days after my second procedure and i didn’t fail even an exam, my WAEC result turned out to be one of the bests in my school, my scar is there just in case i forget that God is able, my scar is there just in case forget that God can, my scar is there so when i have severe asthma attacks and i think I’m dying I’d remember that the victory was won for me, my scar is there so when my heart feels overwhelmed and i think i cannot take anything anymore I’d remember that my heart is simply a muscle waiting for exercise it cannot be broken, my scar is my victory mark, it’s my sign of remembrance.

This scripture says it all “I’d never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, and the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all, oh how well i do. The feeling of hitting rock bottom. But here’s one other thing i remember and each time i do i keep a grip on hope, ‘God’s loyal love (that kept me through five surgeries) couldn’t have run out, his merciful love (that saved the mess i was) couldn’t have dried up. They are created new daily. How great is your faithfulness? I’m sticking with God, i say it over and over, he’s everything I’ve got left” (lamentations 3:19-24)

     Don’t hide your scars, it may not have come from beauty, it could have come from pain, heart break, don’t hide your scars let your scars remind you of the power of the God you serve, look at your scars again remember where you have come from, draw strength for tomorrow from these scars and remember that the one who brought you through whatever it is that left you with these scars is the same one who on the throne. Grateful for every scar in my life.

Love,

opeyemi