MY RAINBOW

            Inyamuakut.com has been a constant source of light for me since 2012 when i stumbled on it for the first time. One thing she’s shared and i can totally relate to has to be her piece on scars, she wrote about a scar on her right arm, a scar that she carries as an aftermath of something which almost claimed her life, but her scar has been a constant reminder that no matter how terrible stuff goes she’ll be fine.

            I have a scar, but you see it’s not a scar from a fall i sustained when i was two years old, its a scar made by an intentional cut with a doctors scalpel when i was 16 and could not breathe, in the space of 8 months i had to undergo five surgeries and I’ve been with this scar forever. I used to feel really insecure about this scar but there was really nothing i could do, its right next to my eye foundations don’t really quite cover it, so I had to live with it, i have another scar that’s less physical, its the scar etched on my fragile heart at 5 by my molester. 

            This year has been a particularly hard one for me, I had to deal with major battles in my health, had to face suspension, had to deal with a major faith shake but like Noah in the bible God gave me a rainbow, the rainbow was a sign a promise God gave after the flood and promised that never again would the earth be destroyed, I’d like to picture the man Noah witnessing heavy downpour and lifts up his eyes to the heavens, sets his eyes on the rainbow and is at peace because he is reminded, for me my rainbow is my scar, many times I felt my faith wavering all I had to do was look in the mirror at the scar and I remembered where I’d come from, what God had brought me through and i knew in my heart that the rain could fall hard as it may my rainbow was sign that the rain could not destroy me, i remembered that the year i had all my surgeries i was writing WAEC and i even had jamb about three days after my second procedure and i didn’t fail even an exam, my WAEC result turned out to be one of the bests in my school, my scar is there just in case i forget that God is able, my scar is there just in case forget that God can, my scar is there so when i have severe asthma attacks and i think I’m dying I’d remember that the victory was won for me, my scar is there so when my heart feels overwhelmed and i think i cannot take anything anymore I’d remember that my heart is simply a muscle waiting for exercise it cannot be broken, my scar is my victory mark, it’s my sign of remembrance.

This scripture says it all “I’d never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, and the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all, oh how well i do. The feeling of hitting rock bottom. But here’s one other thing i remember and each time i do i keep a grip on hope, ‘God’s loyal love (that kept me through five surgeries) couldn’t have run out, his merciful love (that saved the mess i was) couldn’t have dried up. They are created new daily. How great is your faithfulness? I’m sticking with God, i say it over and over, he’s everything I’ve got left” (lamentations 3:19-24)

     Don’t hide your scars, it may not have come from beauty, it could have come from pain, heart break, don’t hide your scars let your scars remind you of the power of the God you serve, look at your scars again remember where you have come from, draw strength for tomorrow from these scars and remember that the one who brought you through whatever it is that left you with these scars is the same one who on the throne. Grateful for every scar in my life.

Love,

opeyemi