THE UNSPOKEN CHRONICLES 2: OPEYEMI SPEAKS UP

In the first post on this blog I mentioned this blog as being a home where ladies find grace to peel layers after layers after layers of their past, their thoughts, their filth and experiences and still know their worth never reduces. Today I’d be peeling off another layer, I’d go deeper than the first one, I’m tempted to edit a few things, because the whole truth may not be comfortable but what then is the essence if I’d whitewash the truth. So I’d just tell it as it is yes I am scared but I’d share anyway.

 After my first sexual encounter which I shared in my previous post, I started to need sex often, I started out with a boy who lived close to the house, from there I moved on to another one who lived a little distance from us, I’d take out time to watch movies with pornographic scenes so I’d know what to do the next time I was with a guy. My sexual escapades was cut short when my family moved houses, in the new place we moved to we had very few neighbors and there was no boy I could have sex with as all the boys were well older than I was or well younger than I was and I could be everything but I would never have sex with a guy younger than I, funny thing was I wasn’t past the age of 10 but I was involved in so much already, well since there was no boy and I needed sex I decided to try something else. Right next door lived a young girl about the same age as I, from the first time I saw her there was a knowing that she was sexually active already but I had never nursed the thought of being with another girl so it was nothing to me, until one day I was quite in a mood when she came over, our conversation turned gradually towards sex and before I knew it we were in my room and I had what I’d like to refer to as my first lesbian sex, after the first time we continued and each time we went a little further than, it didn’t seem harmful to me but I was hooked, not just to sex but to girls, sometimes my partner would invite one other girl to partake, other time it was just the two of us.

 Things were once again seemingly stopped when I had to go off to a boarding school, I struggled with keeping myself in check so as not to be caught, I always seemed to be able to control myself until days I had to sleep right next to other girls I found myself touching them in funny ways, I’d act like I was asleep and start romancing them. It was crazy but I was bound. The worse happened one night my friend and I decided to share her bed, before I knew it we were both naked and things were getting out of control but I thank God for her, she stopped things before they could go any further, looked at me and said I had to ask God for mercy for what we’d done that night. I left her bed went to mine and without even praying I drifted to sleep.

 For several years I continued in this I’d go to church and lift up holy hands and then I’ll come right in and have sex with girls. Then in 2007 I “gave my life to Christ” but that didn’t change anything, instead I found something else to replace lesbianism...

 Porn! You see I’d always watched soft core porn in between movies prior to then but I discovered I could masturbate while watching hardcore porn, so I started out with hardcore porn, this obsession sent me through several hard roads, I had to learn how to put on the generator because there were times I’d be watching porn and NEPA would take light and I’d not be satisfied. I didn’t go to the market by myself for the first time because my mother sent me, the first time I went to the market on my own was to buy porn DVD’s. when I got into senior school I constantly had assignments that required I look up stuff on the internet, it was then I discovered the “beauty” of internet porn, I’d ask my dad for the laptop to work only to open an “in private” tab where I’d have porn playing, several times I’d use up the data on the modem that should normally last a month within a few days and then I’d have to steal about 8000 to replenish the data. The devil really did have me. But my mother prayed hard, I know she did because God kept me even with all I was and all I was doing.

 I was hooked to internet porn for about 3 years until one afternoon…….(to be continued)



Love,
Opeyemi (the unspoken woman)