THE UNSPOKEN CHRONICLES: NINA'S STORY 2

Nina sent in the remaining part of her article last night.. Saying I was and still am speechless is an understatement, you see when I shared my story  I wasn't sure anyone else had gone down my road, I was scared I'd be judged but I shared anyway. When I spoke about lesbianism I had butterflies in my tummy, but this part of my friend's story made me realize my sharing was worth it. Nina never mentioned this to me, but I shared on unspoken, she read and now she's sharing. Please leave your thoughts and say a prayer for Nina.
Love Opeyemi!


So he was gone from my life, okay, but so was my innocence. At a tender age I enjoyed watching movies with sex scenes, loving the sensual pleasure it gave me. But just one problem, I couldn't do it. Or so I tot. I was 6 yrs old and playing out side with my friends when a neighbour called me, I went to meet her and she asked me to go with her inside her house. I did, she said to lie down which I did, then she had sex with me.
"Ahhh....,so there is another way" I thought to myself, So I began to share my new found knowledge with my friend and also my sisters. That bad. Then I went to boarding school and it all came to an end. No neighbours to do it with, thing is, deep down I knew it was wrong and I had to stop. So I started pretending. I had to be a role model for my siblings, what did I do? I studied hard to distract myself to no avail, needed to relive myself. So I resorted to masturbation, thinking all manner of pornographic thoughts I could imagine.
   I knew it was bad and eating me up slowly, I needed help. That's when I launched a silent war against the male gender, seeing no good in them, seeing them as people who sought to exploit the weak and simple minded, so I hardened my heart and built strongholds so no one could come close. I was angry at how my innocence was taken away from me forcefully, each time I gave in to the temptations I hated myself and the more angry I became. I started to drift, separating myself from society, shutting out contact with anyone. This went on for 8 yrs and no one could understand me so I had little or no friends at all and was very distant from my parents. That was okay for me.

It was a difficult time for me and it wasn't easy for me to begin to trust people, especially males but am learning, still growing and by God's grace I will overcome. Thanks for staying with me.
Nina.